I was at a family function at the end of last year and it was a lovely afternoon.
There was heaps of people there and everyone was laughing and chatting away. It was an amazing afternoon.
At one stage of the party I was sitting at a table by myself. My husband had gone to talk to someone and the kids were off playing. I didn't feel uncomfortable about it, nor did I feel lonely and in need of someone to rescue me.
Next thing a family member came up and said "I thought I better come over because you were alone!"
I was a little surprised that someone that someone felt I needed to be saved considering how independent I am as a general rule but to be honest on reflection, not surprised someone found the idea of someone or even themselves not having someone to speak to every minute at a group event uncomfortable and not a desirable situation to be in.
I am quite happy now in my own skin and with my own thoughts and company to not be worried if I am by myself or sitting with a group of people. I am happy and comfortable with either.
As I reflect back though, once upon a time, I too, would have been uncomfortable sitting by myself at a party or group event without someone beside me or someone to talk too but over the years I have come to be more comfortable with myself.
I have found a freedom in this and love how my world have actually opened up for me because of it.
So what are some things I did to help me become comfortable with myself regardless of the situation?
Learning to accept myself right now. Not saying if I change this, that or these I will be able to accept who I am but accepting who I am now.
It can be so easy to get caught up in the trap of only seeing the negative about ourselves and over time find that being able to accept ourselves as we are is really difficult.
Loving who I am:
This is the extended version of accepting ourselves. By taking it that little bit further and actually loving who we are, warts and all, we are better able to stand being in our own company.
Loving yourselves can be such a difficult thing to do because we have all been raised to believe that to love yourself is vein, unbecoming and downright undesirable.
But this then leads us to going the opposite way and going out of our way to diminish our achievements, our strengths and what we want.
But you can love and accept yourself and not be vein or conceited. It is actually a beautiful thing to see someone who does love and accept themselves and it will actually open up their world to let in love and friendship from others that is healthy and good for you.
Discovering who you are:
In the busyness of life, raising children, going to work, paying mortgages or rent, planning for your future it can be really easy to loss sight of who we are.
We can loss ourselves in all that needs to be done and all those people who need caring for and can find that when we do have a few minutes of alone time or time with our thoughts it can bring up heaps of stuff that make us feel uncomfortable and actually feel uncertain.
If you actually make the time to look at these things and get support to do it, if needed, it is a great step to bringing you closer to feeling more comfortable in your own skin and in your own company.
There is a freedom to be found in being comfortable in both being alone and being around people.
You are never alone when you are able to be happy with you and happy to spend time with you!!!